October 30, 2008

Call the locksmith!

From Consumerist:

The "locksmith" shows up over an hour later, in an unmarked car, with no uniform. I show him my car and he decides that my 2005 ford focus is VERY hard to break into, and that the labor charge is gonna go up to $125, for a total of $177 after tax. About $19 does not = $125. I'm sure he saw 20 year old female college student and thought $$$$$.

Oh, you have NO idea. It probably would have been cheaper for her at that point to break one of the windows and gain entry that way. It gets better:

When I woke up and won't to work the next morning, I noticed that the door of my car was all bent up. I didn't see it in the dark the night before.

Whoever it was that showed up is probably not a locksmith, but rather a former car thief/burglar. I know this routine. Bend the top of the car door enough to reach in with your hand/tool/whatever and unlatch the door. Works great, if you don't care about bending the door. Some dumbshit goblin did this to my Mazda a couple years ago to steal a $50 car stereo and a Cox Digital Cable receiver (not a DVR.) The stuff he stole was worth about $250 bux, but the damage to the door cost me $1800.

The geniuses at Consumerist recommend a letter to the BBB and/or the State Attorney General. How about the state licensing board? Locksmiths have to be licensed, and my guess is that the lazy ass who warped her door is no locksmith.

I have three letters for you ... AAA .... $51 a year is peanuts in comparison to what she just paid. Considering the discounts you receive just for being a member (30% at lens crafters for instance) it's practically free. Even if I didn't own a car, or had a wife that owns a car, I'd still be a member just for the discounts and other perks.

My wife has been rescued by an AAA wrecker / locksmith service twice. They always show up quick, and are super nice. The last thing they want is someone calling up AAA and complaining. Most towing companies also perform lockout service as well, 24-hours a day, for less than calling out a locksmith.

And if you're on in Texas, just call the 800 number on the back of your license (800-525-5555), and they will find someone to come rescue you. (It's not free, but they will send someone reputable)

You're welcome.

September 25, 2008

Failing the audition at

I read, and occasionally post a comment or two on the site. I noticed that my comments were not appearing on the site, so I emailed the moderator to inquire why. The deliciously ironic and hypocritical response is quoted below:

You haven't passed the audition. Frankly, a lot of your comments are a bit hostile, either to the consumer mentioned in the article, or to other comments. This needs to be toned back a lot, and you need to follow our comment code to post.

"Typical whiny Consumerist a-hole."

That's really rich from a site that has an entire tag for "assholes" and frequently uses profanity in the titles and content of their posts. I would link to all of them, but according to google, the word asshole appears 4,780 times at

Think that's interesting, check the google hits for the f-bomb. 20,500 hits and a couple tags. Impressive! They even make quite eloquent use of the f-bomb as so eloquently illustrated in this post about a guy who likes to give the finger to people who drive an H2:

It's not really funny. It's not really clever. This isn't consumer activism, it's just consumer cow tipping. Fuck Fuck You And Your H2.

How delightfully civil! They aren't being hostile to that consumer in the slightest, now are they?

It's like the gift that keeps on giving. You can find similar quotes found in other user's comments that don't seem to bother the moderator. This guy wins the award for the most disgusting comment that I could find in regards to B. Hussein Obama and the press. Gross! But he always rips on Republicans, so I guess he's OK.

The Gawker TOS document basically says they can remove my comments at their discretion, which is their right. It's their sandbox, and they have every right to tell me to play in my own. I just find it completely hypocritical that on a site with 20,500 pages where the f-bomb appears, I get banned for commenting that someone was a "Typical whiny Consumerist a-hole."

Continue reading "Failing the audition at" »

February 19, 2008

Whiny consumerists complain about GH3

The whiners at Consumerist are at it again, this time complaining that Activision is requiring Guitar Hero 3 customers to send in their game discs before shipping replacements.

If you don't know, many Guitar Hero 3 users complained when it was discovered that GH3 on the Wii was recorded in Mono, rather than Stereo. Activision stepped up and offered to upgrade the game, and replace the discs for free.

Not only is Activision fixing the Mono problem, but they are adding downloadable content. Did I mention they are doing this for free? The only caveat is that you have to send in your disc before Activision will send you a replacement. This is made clear on the website, and was made clear to me when I called to register.

As far as I am concerned, Activision has not only done the right thing by offering to replace the game, but they have gone above the call of duty by adding downloadable content to the game. The whiners at Consumerist have no right to complain, and should be glad that Activision is the kind of company that will not only do the right thing, they will go a step further. If it's so traumatic to give up playing the game while waiting for the new disc, go buy another one, or keep what you have. I mailed mine today, and don't mind waiting for a freebie.

October 11, 2007

Newsflash! Manhattan isn't that big after all

Consumerist is at it again, this time quoting a chart from GOOD magazine (I wouldn't go as far as calling it an article) lamenting the total square acreage of some of the larger US retailers. They ignore the real #1 largest retailer in the US, the US Postal Service (over 27,000 locations), and instead zero-in on Wal-Mart (4,094 locations according to

How do they prove their point? By stating that Manhattan comprises approximately 15,000 acres, and stating that every Wal-Mart store combined comprises 18,810 acres. Gasp! Now compare that to the USPS ... I can't find the acreage of each USPS location, but let's assume it's an extremely modest 2 acres. Multiply that by 27,000 and you get 54,000 total acres, or almost 3 times as much space as Wal-Mart. Look everybody ... I can count too!

Here's a news flash ... Manhattan is not that big. Take this fun fact from

At the time DFW was built, it was the largest and costliest airport in the world: $700 million spent and 17,500 acres – bigger than the island of Manhattan

And of course, if you attempt to point this out in the comments section of the page, the admins never let it appear ...

If you want to compare it to something that sounds bigger than it really is, try the Louisiana SuperDome ... it's only uses 13 acres. Saying that it would take almost 1,500 SuperDomes to equal the square footage of all the Wal-Marts sound much bigger.

September 20, 2007

Next Time Show Up Earlier

I love my new section on whiners. The Internet is full of them, and this mental giant
complaining about missing an international flight to South Africa
is a good one.

The post is your typical TSA/FAA/Airline bitch-fest. ... Lines at security are too long ... The TSA hires nazi goons ... The government took away my freedom after 9/11 ... The police are evil ... The only thing missing from this morons idiotic screed is a rant blaming the whole event on George Bush.

The first thing the airlines tell you is that if you are flying International, show up at least 2 hours before you are scheduled to depart. At least 2 hours. Just in-case your reading comprehension is poor, that means that 2 hours should be the minimum time to show up. For me, that means that I show up 3 hours before departure. I'd rather sit at the gate for a couple hours completely relaxed, knowing I will make my flight than stand in line at security wondering if I will make it. I fly a lot, and even showing up 3 hours ahead, I have had some close calls.

This guy shows up less than an hour before his flight is scheduled to leave. Then he tries to skip ahead in line. The security detail isn't having any of it, and very strongly tell Mr. Dumbass to get back in line. He persists, and even tries to go through the First Class VIP security line (wish we had one in Austin). When he tries to bust the First Class line, he encounters the Harbor Police:

"Whats the problem?" the officers ask me.

At this point, we are in the middle of the terminal. Before I respond, the officers and I walk off to the side near the check-in counters.

"There is no problem officers. I am going to miss my flight, I have an international connection to make and she will not let me go through. I have been here with plenty of time to make it through security, but the line is not moving."

That's a lie. You showed up late, moron. Instead of admitting he screwed up, he lies and tries to act as if the security agents are the ones that screwed up. Wrong! The cops send him back to Delta, who tell him the truth: He's going to miss his flight. Senor ignoramus heads back over to the cops who ask for his papers:

The officers then ask me, "What did they tell you?"

"That I'm not going to make it" I say.

"Let me have your passport", demands one officer.

"What do you need it for?" (I've seen this movie before, I've done nothing wrong, but you know ... abuse of power, police state, post 9/11 age, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc)

"So that I can know who I am talking to", he says.

"Ok, here you go", as I hand him my passport.

Way to stick it to the man there pal. You gotta love that liberal screed he threw in there. Those eeeevil cops ... why would they need to see someone's passport if they are flying to South Africa? Jerks. If a cop asks you for your ID, law says you have to give it up. It's nothing new, it's been that way for years, and when some idiot is causing a scene at the airport, it's only prudent for them to ask.

More after the jump, including an update.

Continue reading "Next Time Show Up Earlier" »

September 19, 2007

Whiny Consumerist Plays the Handicapped Card

Yet another whiner at Consumerist is complaining that a company followed the terms of an agreement. This time it's a wheelchair bound guy named pat who was charged $550 for a toilet repair.

Basically, this guy calls up a plumber and asks for a quote on a toilet repair. The plumber refuses to give a quote sight-unseen, but rather sends out a plumber to give a quote. Plumber shows up and gives a quote of $500, reportedly without looking at the toilet first.

Then the whiner plays the handicapped card:

Well, I am physically handicapped. I had a spinal cord tumor removed from my back, and it has really screwed up my G.I. system, so this is one reason the toilet was clogged, plus, I depended on that toilet to work. I was desperate. I reluctantly agreed thinking that this job was going to be a toughie ...

There's your first mistake pal. You agreed to pay $500 for a toilet repair. You could have a new toilet installed for less than that. You should have called around first, and maybe got a couple of quotes. Ever see that auto insurance commercial? ... Here's the money shot:
... but 15 minutes later, they were done. They told me the problem was a disposable razor head lodged in the trap. Well great, then since it was so easy, they would only charge me about $100, which was fine with me, I was happy, but no, they wanted $550. Well, under duress, I paid

Ahh ... There's the rub. He unspokenly agreed to pay $500 only if it was a really tough job. Once they finished in 15 minutes after fishing out a disposable razor (and I would assume some more nefarious things that provided the actual clog) this whiny asshole's logic told him that he should only have to pay $100. When was that part of the deal? According to his statement, he agreed to pay $500 for the repair. As far as I can tell, his only room to argue is that they asked for $550, not the agreed $500. How did he come up with the $100 figure?

There is this old joke about an elevator repair man. This elevator repair man goes to his boss and asks for a raise. The raise is denied, so he quits. A couple weeks later, he gets a call from his old boss asking for emergency help with a broken elevator. The man agrees, but only if the ex-boss pays $1000 for the repair. Desperate, the boss agrees. The man shows up, puts his ear on the wall, listens a bit, hits the wall, and the elevator starts working again. On his way out the door, he gives the old boss an invoice with a single line item "Elevator Repair - $1000" and asks him to sign it so he can get a check before he leaves. The boss refuses ... "All you did was hit the wall. I'm not paying $1000 for that." The man thinks about it, and takes back the invoice. He quickly makes some writing on it, and hands it back. This time with two line items: "Hitting the wall - $1", "Knowing where to hit the wall to repair the elevator - $999."

The point of telling the joke is that the man agreed to pay $500 to repair the toilet because he was unable to do so himself. Whether or not the job was easy for a properly trained plumber who is not disabled is irrelevant. The man agreed to $500, and then reneged to $100 after the job was done.

Continue reading "Whiny Consumerist Plays the Handicapped Card" »

September 17, 2007

UPDATED: Whiny Sears Customer Gets Great Service

I'm pretty much fed up with reading about whiny, ignorant morons on, so I've added a new category: Whiners.

Today's case in point: A whiny Sears customer whines to Consumerist:

I called to have the refrigerator repaired and on August 28th a repairman came to my apartment. After examining the refrigerator he determined the part that was needed had to be ordered. He said that it was Sears's policy for the delivery of the part to take ten business days.
Sounds fair to me ... what's the rub?
At that point I informed the repairman that my wife and daughter are insulin dependent and their insulin requires refrigeration.
Ahh ... now I see. You're wife and child are insulin dependent diabetics, which makes this guy an asshole now ... I get it ... No ... I don't get it. I am an insulin dependent diabetic, and if I was told my refrigerator needed parts for repair that were guaranteed in 10 days, I would be glad. I would be glad that I had a guarantee that it would -*only*- be ten days, and I would sort out my meds myself. In fact, at the point that my refrigerator is broken to the point of calling for repair, I would have already sorted out my insulin, and it would be a moot point. Not for this asshole:
I asked the repairman to use my phone to call his office to inform his superiors that my wife and daughter are diabetic and their medicine requires refrigeration at all times. The repairman refused to call his office on my phone. He repeated that it was Sears' policy that it would take ten days and picked up his bag and left my apartment.
Why is it the repairman's responsibility to sort out their medication? Where in the contract does is say that Sears guarantee's 24/7/365 access to refrigeration? Basically what the repairman is trying to politely tell this guy is that his piece is done ... you want to sort out something else with Sears, leave me out of it. I'm done. That's not good enough for this ignoramus, so he persists:
I followed the repairman to the elevator and asked him to give me his name. He refused. The repairman said I should call the office and state that a repairman had been to my apartment. While demanding that he at least tell me his name I held the elevator door open to prevent the repairman from leaving. The repairman exited the elevator and walked towards our staircase. I asked him again in the hallway what is your name. He finally muttered Brian. I said what is your full name and he replied "JESUS CHRIST!"
At what point is the repairman allowed to start using force to get away from this psycho? Look dumbass, it's not the repairman's fault your wife and daughter are diabetic, and it's not Sears' responsibility to sort out their meds. That is -*you're*- job as a father, and you should see to it. Leave the repairman the f@#$k alone, and take care of your family.

You would think that at some point self-preservation of one's self and family would kick in, but these types of people think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. It's like Denis Leary said ... "Life's tough ... get a f@#$ing helmet."

UPDATE: Not satisfied with just whining, Consumerist has posted the email address of the Sears CEO Aylwin B. Lewis. That'll learn 'em!

September 6, 2007

Only In America - Fanboys Mad @ Apple Over iPhone Price Drop

Slanted "Consumer" website Consumerist has an article up from a self-proclaimed "Apple FanBoy" whining about the recent $200 price drop in the Apple iPhone.

Only in America do people complain when a company drops the price of an extremely desirable new gadget 33%. You would think that people would be glad to see the price drop, hoping it further increases sales, increasing the chances of success for the new gadget. No ... The whiny Apple fans that relish the fact that Apple's products are both trendy and expensive are now hurt that more of the unwashed masses can afford it.

Boo f@#$ing hoo ... Whiny f@#$ing maggots.